OK, although this is a retrospective piece, this one is for all the ladies out there who are stressing over the BIG CHOP. I am looking back over the past year and realizing that it was just around this time when I decided to go for it. I want to share a somewhat personal perspective with you because I, like you, worried about a number of factors:
1) Would an afro suit my features?
2) Would I feel feminine in an afro?
3) Would my dear hubby turn homicidal once my hair was gone? (Sidebar: DH loves longer 'do's)
By way of background, my decision to chop my hair off was completely spontaneous. I had been sporting kinky twist extensions and was told by my loctician at the time that as they grew out, my roots could be twisted to start locks. While I don't doubt that this works for others, it turns out I was not a good candidate. I couldn't get the extensions to stay in, let alone entertain any hope that my hair would lock under these circumstances. LOL! Well, after about a week and a half of sporting the extensions and having them drop off one by one, I decided this type of transition was not going to work for me. So one summer night in 2008, I took them all out carefully, calmly retrieved DH's trimmer, put a 1/4 inch attachment on that puppy and shaved my head. I had complete peace about it; however, I was not prepared for my son's reaction the next morning.
The first thing my five year-old said to me when he saw me the next morning was: "MOM...YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, I LOVE YOUR HAIR!!!!" I stooped down and gave him a hug and I could feel him touching my hair with his hands (at first I thought he was simply curious about the haircut). Then he asked with a smile: "Mommy, why did you do that?" I drew back and looked at my son. I took a good look at him and said "Because I wanted to look like you."
His eyes widened, the smile got broader and he threw his little arms around my neck and squeezed me so hard, I thought I would melt. I realized for the first time - my son had never seen my hair in its natural state. Among all the hair questions I had considered, I had never thought about the message my son must have internalized by virtue of that fact. But I knew in that moment, to have him see me embrace his mirror image was a powerful affirmation. He knew he was beautiful then too.
So Ladies, let's not agonize about the Big Chop. I think the terminology we use to describe the act invites us to think of this as some huge sacrifice, when in fact, we are gaining so much of ourselves. Here is a picture of my TWA and my little heros' happy smiles. When it comes to Big Chops: Just do it!!!
